Pictures of a past
by another.maggie
Summary: I always loved this moment in season 1 when Parker said: "They're gonna turn out just like me." I was wondering why Parker turned out how she turned out. So these are my thoughts about the past of our beloved thief. Rated T for mentioning of child abuse in later chapters.
1. family

I do not own Leverage.

1

1992, June

She is four years old when her parents die in a car crash. It's a day in June, the twins' fourth birthday. The twins wear crowns and they're parents call them prince and princess. All four of them go to see a movie, the twins' first visit at a cinema.

She is a little dreamer. When her mother calls her princess that day, she believes she truly is a princess. She wears a white dress and red shoes, her blonde hair in pigtails. She begged for the shoes, wanted to have red shoes like Dorothy so that she could go and visit Oz. Unfortunately, the shoes don't work. She still loves them.

Her brother Nick doesn't walk around with his head in the clouds like she does. He suffered a sickness as a toddler and lost his left leg. She never had this sickness. Five months ago he got his first plastic leg. She doesn't know if it is called plastic leg or anything else. The twins simply call it plastic leg. Nick had a lot to catch up since he lost his leg. For example, his sister had learned how to ride a bike at age three. After Nick learned how to walk again she taught him how to ride a bike.

Nick is actually older than her by five minutes, but since he got sick that doesn't really matter anymore. She feels like a big sister to Nick. She feels like she has to protect him. Four year olds can be quite sensible when it comes to their most beloved friends. Her best friend is her twin brother, Nick.

They took the bikes today. The cinema was not close enough to walk, but it was warm, and they didn't care to take the car. It was exciting for the twins even though they weren't allowed to ride on the streets. Right now they're waiting for the traffic lights to turn green. They mustn't cross the street when they're red, she knows this. Her Daddy had told her.

The lights turn green and the twins start to cross the street. There's no car except one that still drives. The little girl knows it will stop at the traffic lights, because it is supposed to stop. Nick needs some time to get the rhythm of riding after he stopped so they're quite slow. The little girl is on top as the car comes closer and still doesn't stop.

It hits their mother first. Their father is the second, who collides with the car. Everything happens so fast Parker doesn't even recognize Nick is the third one. She is hit at the middle of her bike. The bike falls and Parker is flying just like Peter Pan. Her arms hit the ground first. She cries out in pain as bones of hers break, but no one replies to her suffering.

The car doesn't stop after it has already hit them.

She turns, looking for her parents. Usually, when she is in pain someone comes to help her. Once, her Daddy even took her to the hospital, because her fever was so high. The little girl in the red shoes screams when she finally finds her Daddy. His back is open and as red as her shoes and his eyes are like her dolls. They stare directly and blankly into her direction.

The little girl doesn't know yet, but she'll never forget the look in his eyes.

Her dress isn't really white anymore.


	2. her first fosters

Still, I don't own Leverage. But I own Jay, Candy, Camden, Kyle, Sam, Rose and Sadie.

2

1992, September

She is young so it won't take really long to find a family who wants to take her. At least, that's what they say.

Until someone who wants to adopt her comes along, she lives with Jay and Candy. The orphanages are overfilled; they don't have a place for the little girl there. Besides, Jay and Candy are foster parents, who have one place left. They take her under their wings.

They already have five other kids living with them and not one of them is their biological child. The little girl shares a room with two other girls, Rose and Sadie. They're older than her and usually, they don't talk to her. The little girl loves Sadie's red curly hair, it reminds her of her shoes, but she is afraid what they would think of her if she told them. It's her first foster home and she doesn't feel good here.

There are three boys who share the other room, Camden, Kyle and Sam. Just like the girls none of them is four, five or six. They're all too old to play with.

Jay and Candy aren't nice. It didn't take the little girl long to recognize that Sam is bad. He hits the boys every day. He sometimes comes for the girls, too. He didn't come for the little girl yet, but it's only a matter of time and she knows this.

All kids are supposed to call Jay and Candy Mom and Dad. She is confused by this, but when she told Candy she already had a Mom and a Dad, Candy laughed at her and told her that they were gone forever.

Birth parents, that's what they call her real parents. To the little girl, Jay and Candy are not real parents if they're parents at all. Mommies and Daddies were supposed to be nice and they weren't. Of course, she would never say this. It didn't take long for her to recognize that she would be in trouble for saying what she thought.

The little girl isn't in preschool yet. When the holidays end, she'll be all alone all day with Jay. Candy has to leave for work. Jay doesn't work. He has lost his job a long time before the little girl joined their foster care.

The night before school starts again Sadie sits down at the little girl's bed. She is already asleep, but Sadie wakes her. Sadie tells her that she shouldn't scream whatever should happen tomorrow. The little girl wants to know what will happen. She is scared, but Sadie doesn't tell her. She simply tells her not to scream or she'll be in even more pain.

The little girl is four when she loses her family. She is also four when she loses her virginity.

She doesn't scream, because Sadie had told her not to. She bites her lower lip and cries, but without a sound. She doesn't scream.


	3. though little girl

I don't own Leverage.

3

1993, July

Sadie leaves the family when she turns sixteen. It's hard for the little girl. Sadie was something like her friend. Jay never comes for Rose. Sadie says it is because Rose still has parents. She is just taken away from them. Both of Rose's parents are in prison. They killed people. If Jay touched her the way he touched the little girl and Rose tells her parents, he would die. Sadie and the little girl are orphans. She learns that no one cares what happens to orphans. It's a hard lesson to learn.

She's happy when she gets to go to preschool. She knows he will still do it at the weekend. Jay touched Sadie every Saturday when Candy was at work. Sadie says he doesn't want Candy to know.

One day after Sadie left, the little girl decides to make Candy know, even though Sadie says she'd get her out of that hell as soon as she turned eighteen. The little girl can't wait another two years. She doesn't believe anyone wants to adopt her anyways.

It's Saturday. Jay usually comes for Sadie one hour before Candy comes home. The little girl hides. She is good at hiding. Since the first time he touched her, she always tried too hard. It didn't work very well, but some days it does. The little girl is on the top of the house now. She climbed through the chimney so she's all black. Everyone knows what Jay does to the little girl and Sadie. Everyone knows except Candy and the social workers. Today, she has a plan.

When it's fifteen minutes until Candy usually comes home, she goes back to her room. She climbs down the wall and comes through the window so that Jay won't recognize where she came from. She gets out of the coat, which was yellow a long time ago and dresses into her pajamas. She also wears underwear and she knows it will take some extra time to undress her. If he doesn't undress them Candy could probably notice.

Jay comes into her room. He doesn't do it in their room. Never.

"There you are", he says and takes her by the arm. The little girl doesn't go fast enough though he pushes her and her arm hurts. Candy must notice. The little girl has phoned her saying something happened and she had to come home earlier. Jay doesn't know she will be home early today.

They go to the bed room. Jay sits her down at the bed and starts to undress her. The little girl has also called the social workers. She doesn't know if they'll come. She doesn't care. If they don't come, at least Candy will see.

Jay isn't done when she arrives. He doesn't even recognize she opens the door and he never closed the door to the bedroom. The little girl sees the fear and anger in Candy's eyes when she walks over. Most likely she thinks Jay is with another lady. Candy screams when she recognizes what he is doing. Jay stops. The little girl screams and cries for help.

The doorbell rings. Camden opens. The little girl screams louder. The social workers enter the room.

It's the first time since her parent's that she has gotten lucky. At least she thought she was lucky for some time.


	4. leslie and theodore

Leverage doesn't belong to me. Parker doesn't belong to me. Leslie & Theodore Barnes to me, though.

4

1995, December

The little girl lives with Leslie and Theodore now. They're still young. She doesn't understand why they want her. People like Leslie and Theodore should have younger kids. Abused kids are no kids for anyone. She has lived in the orphanage for a year or something. She doesn't recall. She refuses to be adopted, because she was waiting for Sadie, but Sadie doesn't come.

The little girl is already seven. She has been through a lot, she has been abused. What would a couple like Leslie and Theodore Barnes want from a child like this?

Leslie is a psychologist. She actually was the little girl's therapist for some time. Obviously, she was fascinating to the young woman. Still, that's no reason for trying to adopt her.

She is seven. Some teacher found out she is really intelligent so she goes to the fourth grade now. She doesn't have any friends. The kids think she's strange. At first, it hurt her feelings that no one seemed to like her, but over the years she learns how to deal with it. She has lost her family long ago. The little girl knows she is broken and she doesn't know if it's fixable. She doesn't care, though. Not anymore.

She is suspicious. She moved in with the Barnes two months ago, but still she can't trust them. She doesn't know if she will ever trust them, anyways.

They don't push her to do family things with them, but she can tell they'd like to do something with her. The little girl isn't dumb. Actually, she's truly intelligent. No, she isn't dumb. She sees the games. She recognizes the books on the shelf in her room. Alice in Wonderland, Green eggs with ham, Grimm's fairytales… She knows all of them. Her Mom used to read books to Nick and her every evening.

She lives with them for two months now and still doesn't know what they want. She isn't impolite. Of course, she is thankful that she has a home and her own bed. She is thankful that she has her own room, where she feels safe after the first week. In the orphanage she can't really sleep. She fears that someone will enter the room to do bad things, like Jay had done. The little girl doesn't want the Barnes to feel bad because she can't trust them. It's her issue and not theirs. So Parker asks Leslie if she wants to read a book to her this evening.

Leslie is extremely excited and happy. She tries to hide her excitement, but the little girl is well taught in reading people. She has to learn such things to survive.

Leslie reads Alice in Wonderland to her and she imitates the characters voices causing the little girl to laugh. Leslie reads the whole book and it's very late when they're done. She sleeps well that night.

She gets a telescope for Christmas and in their holidays they go swimming in Europe. They take the little girl to museums and other exciting things. She starts to like it there. They help her get to a better school but she has to leave shortly. Leslie says when she graduates she should study medicine, but Theodore says history was more the little girl's thing.

At least, it could have been like that.

The truth was that no one wants to adopt her. She doesn't have to refuse any possible parents, because no one wants to adopt her. Who wants to adopt an abused seven year old, who barely speaks, but already goes to fourth grade?

She doesn't have any friends except Bunny. Bunny is a stuffed bunny she got as an anonymous present for her seventh birthday. She doesn't know who sent it, but she loves, loves, loves Bunny. Truly, Bunny is the best friend you can have: She always listens to the little girl's problems and they never argue. Plus, she is always there and she never leaves for another friend.

The little girl actually lived with another foster family now. The woman, who she simply calls Aunt Jamie, is in her mid-thirties and she always cries. It didn't take the little girl long to recognize that she is only decoration. Aunt Jamie is married to Uncle Tom. Tom is a doctor and earns a lot of money, but he isn't nice like Leslie and Theodore are in the little girl's dreams.

Uncle Tom doesn't like her. He never speaks to her. When she arrived at their house, he told her the rules of his house; it's all settled now. That was actually the only time he talked to her until this morning in December. It is Saturday so she sleeps out long. She doesn't have anything to do on weekends. She goes to the city playgrounds with Bunny or joins Uncle Tom's perfect family for dinner in the evening. She has nice dresses for such occasions.

The little girl walks into the living room and is surprised to find Uncle Tom and Aunt Jamie, who's crying as always, there.

"What is this?" Uncle Tom holds up Bunny. The little girl chuckles. She didn't check if Bunny was in her bed this morning. She didn't think she had to. She doesn't answer. Uncle Tom doesn't seem like he wants an answer.

When he told her the house rules, one of them was that everything belonged to Uncle Tom. Everything that used to be the little girl's was his. She had to give him everything she had. She could hide Bunny that day, because she was already in her new room. It was just a matter of time until Uncle Tom would have found her either way.

"I told you", Uncle Tom says, "Everything that used to be yours is mine now. So why did you steal my Bunny from me, kid?" He never uses her name. The little girl doubts he even knows it. Actually, she doesn't like it anymore. Jay used to call out her name when he…

"I asked you a question, girl!"

She just stares, shrugs. Uncle Tom knows she doesn't talk that much. He grins meanly.

"Let me tell you something, missy", he says, "Either you keep your fingers off my stuff or you become a better thief."

Still, the little girl doesn't answer. She doesn't even give a sign that she hears him.

That night she steals Bunny back. In the next morning she leaves the house with Bunny before it explodes. Everything blows up, silly.

Sorry for the confusing part... :P

Reviews would be nice. =)

Thank you for reading.


	5. a new name, a new life

I want to say thank you to Kittyy w for reading and editing my story. Thank you so much!

Anyways, I don't own Leverage.

5

1997, March

She is in prison. She doesn't say her name, so they decide to call her Parker, says it's because she couldn't get away, only knew how to do a perfect park; she was a Parker, and she decides she likes it. She pretends she can't speak. So she stays. She is angry. She is waiting for Jim, but he doesn't come for her. Though, it was his fault, too.

They stole cars. He teaches her how to do it when they meet. Parker learns to become a better thief. She doesn't return to the orphanage. The streets are cold and evil sometimes, but if you can scale apartments or crawl through air vents, then you have a place to sleep, as long as you could get inside.  
She is good at crawling through air vents, but she still hasn't learned how to break out of prison. So she waits for her punishment to end.

Parker has learned a lot until this March. She can scale buildings and of course she can crawl through the vents; she's gotten better at stealing, especially food and money, because she's always needs those kind of things, she learns how to pick locks and how to steal cars. She could even drive cars. Actually, she was a get away driver.

She hadn't yet learned where to sell them.

They stole many cars, but they never got caught.

Until some months ago when they were caught. Now, Parker is in prison.

It is dark, but she has food and she can sleep. They don't take Bunny. She wasn't in the car with them when they stole it. Bunny is at a safe place and Parker will go and recover her when she would get out of prison.

Jim doesn't come. The days pass and Parker keeps dreaming of Leslie and Theodore, but they aren't close enough anymore. Parker doesn't go to school anymore at the age of nine; the prison people have sent a sort of teacher. It was strange since she thought teachers needed schools, not prisons. Jim was in Junior High and he doesn't know much more than she does. But Parker isn't in the mood to think about Jim now. He left her.

Probably, this is destiny. It was meant for her to learn this lesson today and learns it, because of Jim. Of course, she's sad that he let her down like this, but what is she supposed to do?

Parker waits in prison until the day they let her go. She doesn't know what month it is or what day and she doesn't care. They take her to a car and drive her to an orphanage. She's shocked. She doesn't want to go back. She will not go back; she can't; so she does something no nine-year-old has ever done after her: The cops get out of the car, the door is opened. She is supposed to get out of the car, but she doesn't. Instead, she grabs the cops' car keys. She jumps forward to the front seat and starts the car. It's only a matter of seconds. Parker drives. The cop is still at the door, but the car is so fast that he falls off.

Her conscience raises an alarm.

Fortunately, she gets to listen to the report on TV when she relaxes in the air vent of some apartment in the inner city. She parks the car two blocks further and then climbed into the air vent of an old couple, who happens to watch TV tonight. The cop isn't hurt. And Parker? No one has seen her.

She is safe, but she is worried how she'll spend the rest of her life. Is it possible to always run away?

I hope you liked it. =)

Actually, I'm a little bit running out of ideas. Is there anything in Parker's life before Archie that you'd like me to tell? =)


	6. the streets of new york

I don't own Leverage.

6

2000, June

New York

Parker is in the inner city looking for some wallets. She has already picked five. Still, it is a lame day. She has seventy dollars and a starbucks gift card. That isn't enough. It's enough for the day, that's true. It's enough for two days, probably even three. But it's Saturday. She gets most of the money she needs on Saturdays.

She has eyes in the back of her head. She doesn't fear the city. It's safe.

Right now, she follows a quite old man in a dark coat. He wears a scarf and he looks pretty rich. She waits for him to be surrounded by people. Pickpocketing someone who's walking all alone is simply stupid.

She reaches forward when they get in the middle of two larger groups. There's the wallet. Parker is just about to disappear with it, when she feels a hand on her arm. She looks up and looks into her victim's eyes. Her mouth opens in the form of an O, but she doesn't say anything.  
The man looks at her. He doesn't say a word, either. He just watches her. Parker tries to get away, but he makes her stay.

"Do I need to cut up rough", he asks.

Parker still tries. "Let go!"

"Save your face", he says. He pulls her with him and she can't protest. No one sees them. Apparently, no one sees that they're not familiar. Parker is full of fear now. What if he'll rape her? No one would even notice.

"Please, let go!" She pulls on her arm. They walk further and further; Out of the inner city into one of the little streets. Parker gasps.

They go to a car. Parker screams, but no one hears her. He opens the car. He sits her down. He closes the door fast enough so that Parker can't escape. Parker starts to cry. It's too late. She is messed up. He sits down in front of her and locks the car.

"Don't be afraid", he says, "Use the belt."

She does what she is told. She doesn't have a choice anymore.

Something has changed. She isn't the nine-year-old that escapes with a police car. The life is harsh outside and even though she's older now it seems to become harder every year. Parker is all alone. She's exhausted. She doesn't have the energy to escape.

Actually, it's a relief. She doesn't care if she dies. If she dies everything will be over at least.

They drive. It's an endless ride.

They arrive in a garage. He opens and closes the door.

"You can come out of the car now", he says.

Parker does what he tells her to. She analyses the room. It's not as light as outside, but her eyes get used to it within seconds. She will die beneath the earth – as appropriate!

The man walks over. She recognizes that he needs a stick to walk and suddenly feels a little bit sorry for stealing from him. Then she thinks about what he will do to her, what he has probably done to many other girls before, and – hell no – doesn't feel sorry anymore.  
There is no bed. Parker wonders where he will rape her. The ground doesn't feel really soft.

There are to chairs and a table.

"Come over", he says while he sits down on one of them.

So, that's it! She'll die beneath the earth most likely of strangulation after a 50-year-old man has raped her on a chair. Parker sighs and walks over. She isn't suspicious anymore. She waits for her death to come. If she actually gets to heaven she might meet Nick again.  
Parker's family was really religious, but neither Candy nor Uncle Tom cared about that.

After she sits down the man looks at her with a strange look. Firstly, she thinks that he looks at her qualities. Is he sad, because she's so skinny? She hasn't grown breasts yet. Will he kill her without raping her, because she isn't pretty enough?

Parker knows it isn't good for her to look pretty so she does nothing to look pretty even though she inherited beautiful eyes from her father and the pretty face of her mother.

"What's your name?"

Parker furrows her eyebrows in confusion. This was something she didn't see coming. Of course, she won't tell him her real name. She didn't tell Jim her real name. The only person who probably knows her first, middle and last name is Sadie. So she goes with the name from juvie.

"Parker", she says.

Now it's the man to furrow his brows.

"Parker? That's an unusual name for a girl", he says.

Parker shrugs, but she doesn't say another word. She's too confused to think clearly.

"Well, Parker, I'm Archie. I've watched you in the city when you stole those people's wallets…" Parker swallows. She didn't recognize that. "And I have to admit: You seem to have talent."

"What?!"

He nods. "I said you have talent. You're really good at pickpocketing. Actually, it's the same way I started my career", he tells her. He gives a gentle smile. Parker furrows her eyebrows even harder than she did before.

"Who are you? What do you want?"

The man smiles and now he smiles at her. "Oh, excuse me. It was a harsh way to bring you here. You must have thought I'd do something horrid to you. Allow me, to introduce myself." He doesn't wait for Parker to allow him. "I'm Archibald Lowell, but you might have only heard of my pseudonym – Archie Leach."

Parker widens her eyes. She can't hide her feelings now. "Oh, my gosh - really? I admire your work! You're the greatest thief on earth!"  
He laughs at her words. It's a nice laugh. It makes Parker feel… safe.

"So, Parker, how would you like to become the heir of Archie Leach?"

Reviews would be nice. I hope you liked it.


	7. christmas

**I do not own Leverage.**

7

2002, December

Archie always visits Parker on Christmas Eve. He always comes to her when his whole family is asleep.

Parker doesn't know. It's dark inside of the garage he trains her in, because it's beneath the earth.

She is always really excited for Christmas. It's her favorite celebration of the year.

She gets something on her birthday, too, but she isn't as happy as she is on Christmas. She always waits for him on Christmas. She sits beneath the little plastic tree and there's one present for him that she has stolen from the people above the garage. She climbs through the air vents to get it. So she's almost as cool as Santa himself.

Today Archie realizes very soon there is something bothering her. As she recognizes him she stands up and walks. She shortly rummages in her pockets then she hands him a picture. It shows his family.

"What is this", she asks.

He knows he has to explain.

He sits down on the ground and she joins him there. The ground is cold. They don't even have mats where she trains. If Parker would hurt herself badly they would both be in some big trouble.

"Kiddo, you know I can't stay all day with you, because I have to do my things, yes?"

She nods, waits. She already knows the issue he can tell, but she wants him to tell her. Probably she wants to know why he didn't take her to them.

"Well, this people, they are my family. This is my wife, Jennifer. We have three kids: Bradford, he's 27 and works as a teacher. Our daughter, Katherine is 25 and she works as a musician. Robert is 21 and he currently spends a year of work and travel in Australia."

Parker looks at the picture. Those people. She could have lived with them.

"Do they know about me?" Her violet eyes stare Archie down. It hurts him, but he has to tell the truth.

"No, nobody knows. They don't even know who I am."

Parker gets back on her feet. "Good. So, now, it's Christmas?"

She never asks about his family ever again. She spends the night with the brand new safe Archie got her, cracks it and is really happy as she finds ten bars of chocolate and money inside. Parker loves chocolate and money. There's not much she likes except for Bunny, but those things she likes.

She says thank you and then waves goodbye when Archie leaves to celebrate Christmas with his family.

This morning is Parker's night, but she can't sleep.

Jennifer, Bradford, Katherine and Robert.

She can't stop thinking about them. They are older than her. If Archie would have taken her under his wings legally she would only see them on holidays. She would have to go to school. That's something she really doesn't like nor need. Parker learns everything from Archie.

Thieving, stealing, lasers, gymnastics, drawing, languages – he teaches her everything. Even though her French isn't as good as her Spanish. Her Grammy was of Spanish Origin. But Parker never met her she died one day after the twins were born.

Parker thinks of her own family and of Archie's. Most likely she wouldn't fit in with his. But she wonders where she would be if her family hadn't died. Would she be the captain of the cheerleaders like her Mommy? Would she cheer for her quarterback twin brother? Would she study history like Daddy? Would she still share a room with Nick? Would they still spend holiday in Spain?

Parker falls asleep over her thoughts like every evening.

**I hope you liked it. Please review to let me know your thoughts. :)**


	8. growing up

**I do not own Leverage.**

8

2004, November

Parker is already sixteen years old when she gets her first period. Since she skipped school at age eight she doesn't even know what it is. Finding blood in her underpants gets her worried. Her stomach cramps and she can't really stand the pain.

She is curled up on her bed crying when Archie comes to see and train her. This sight gets her mentor worried, of course.

"What's wrong, kiddo", he asks sitting down next to her.

"I-I don't know", Parker sobs. "My stomach hurts and… and I'm bleeding."

Archie furrows a brow. "Did you hurt your stomach?"

"No. I didn't do anything." Parker sits up. She looks at her mentor while he is thinking.

Archie isn't stupid. He has a daughter and a wife. He knows what this means for women. Katherine was twelve when she had her first period. Parker was twelve when he got her off the street. He had assumed she had already had her first period.

"Is there blood in your underpants", he asks and blames himself as he notice himself blushing. Parker doesn't blush, of course.

"Yeah… How do you know?"

Her mentor sighs. He rubs her back softly. Parker shivers. She doesn't like it when men touch her even though he is Archie and she knows he won't do anything to her.

"Parks… Do you know what a period is?"

"One of the things you put at the end of a sentence", Parker replies, not sure if it's the correct answer.

He chuckles. "No, I don't mean this kind of period. I mean the one only women have."

Parker shakes her head. She hasn't heard of this yet. Archie sighs.

"Women and men are different from each other, kiddo."

"I'm not stupid", Parker says.

"Yeah, I know. But you haven't heard of it yet, so…" He shrugs.

It takes some time to explain the whole thing to Parker. Archie has never had this talk with Kathy. His wife took care of it. Explaining it to Parker is twice as hard. She doesn't want to give in. She asks if there's anything she can do to make it stop.

"I'll get you painkillers", he promises.

"Is there nothing else we can do about it?"

"Parker, every woman goes through this once a month. Actually, I assumed you already had your period", Archie tells her.

Parker furrows her brows. "Is it bad I didn't have it before?"

"No, Parker, it's just fine. I'll make you a tea then I'll get you painkillers. We'll train tomorrow."

When Archie goes to get them Parker is left alone. She looks down at her stomach thinking about that the blood in her underpants could have been a child. She doesn't like this thought. She thinks about that she could have had a child with Jay if she had been older. She thinks about if Sadie didn't come back, because she got pregnant.

Sadie. Parker would love to see her again.

Archie returns with painkillers and something she has to put into her underpants. They watch a movie then he goes back to his family. But he does something he hasn't done before. He gives her his cell phone.

"If you need anything call HOME."

The greatest thief on earth shows his heir how to call home.

"Just say that you'd like to talk to Archibald and that your name is Rose, alright?"

Parker nods. "Thank you", she says.

"Never mind. If you need anymore painkillers just take them."

Parker nods again, whether she doesn't like the painkillers much.

The blonde thief doesn't sleep this night. She is in great pain, but the killers don't really help. Everything hurts.

Parker decides that she'll get rid of her period one day. She doesn't know how, but she will.

**Thoughts? =)**


	9. the lion of gilgamesh

**I do not own Leverage.**

9

2005, August

Dubai

Dubai is nice. Parker likes the city. She even likes most of the people. She prefers Europe to Asia, though.

When she stole the Caravaggio in Paris she'd loved those little sweets they ate there. They were very sweet and very yummy. Archie used to call Paris the city of love, while Parker would refer to it as the city of sweets. Parker prefers Europe, because she knows European languages. She knows French. She even knows the French National Bank, but that's a whole other story. She knows Spanish. She doesn't know any Arabic.

She's in the airvents right now. It's quiet comfortable since they're huge. She waits for the watchmen to turn on the lasers and then leave.

The Lion of Gilgamesh. She still wonders why her client wants it. Whatever, he pays fifteen grand. Nothing to complain about.

Parker is a little bit nervous since it's her first big job she does on her own. Archie managed to get it for her, but she did all the other work. She plotted the whole theft from cover to cover. Maybe that's why she's so nervous. She is afraid of failure. She doesn't want to disappoint Archie. Plus, she really doesn't want to go back to prison.

She spent two months at a French prison. Great meals. Parker likes French food. It was ridiculous, though. She was in jail, because she got caught climbing the Eiffel Tower. When she robbed the French National Bank nobody even noticed.

Anyways, right now she's her because of that Lion. To her it's an awful piece of art. Main thing the customer likes it.

Finally, the watchmen turn on the lasers and leave. Parker sighs in relief. She isn't very patient and waiting gets her nervous. Even more nervous than she already is at this point.

"Alright", she tells herself, "I can do this. We've practiced this a thousand times. I'm good."

She remembers her principles - be fast, be invisible, focus on the target - and starts her routine. Everything works out nicely. She pushes the duct grid away. She has already loosened the screws before. She puts the grid beneath her. She can't risk it sound an alarm.

She flips out of the air shaft and gets onto the ground in handstand. Then she performs a backflip and stops half a meter away from the lasers. The 17 year old thief takes a deep breath in.

"I can do this."

Smoothly she wreathes around the lasers. Backflip, handstand, backflip, stand. She watches as they move around her. The next one is too high so she crawls underneath.

"Nice lasers", she tells Bunny, who is sitting in the air shaft, waiting. "We should have some in our house."

The rest is a piece of cake. Parker finishes her routine gets this damn Lion and ties it to her chest. As fast as she got outside of the shaft she's back in again. She smiles at Bunny. The thief is relieved. She has finished the first job on her own. She can't wait to tell Archie.

She puts the grid back in and crawls backwards through the shaft. Outside she dresses into a sari so that no one will see the statue at her breast. She returns to the hotel without interruptions.

Archie is glad to hear she's made it.

"I'm proud of you, kiddo", he tells her at the phone. Parker smiles at this word. She likes it when he praises her.

"It was a doodle", she confesses not mentioning her nervousness.

"I'll pick you up at the plane tomorrow. You know how to get the Lion here?"

"Yes. I've got a plan", she says.

"I'm very proud of you", Archie repeats. "Good night, kiddo."

"Good night, Sir."

Parker falls down on her bed next to Bunny. The relieve is written all over her face. She looks back at the statue. A lion. Who would want to put a lion onto his mantelpiece?

"Next time", she tells Bunny, "We're gonna steal a rabbit. Not a stupid lion."

**I've had to add some changes to previous chapters, because I messed up the years. In my story Parker is born in 1988 so she would have been 18 already in the last chapter, where she was 16. I changed it now. Thank you for reading. Reviews would be nice.**


	10. same, same, but different

**I do not own Leverage.**

10

2007, Christmas Eve

Los Angeles

It's the first Christmas Parker spends on her own since she met Archie. She tries not to care, but she can't.

Everything is as usual. Bunny sits on her bed. She has a bowl full of her favourite cereal, Rocket Os. Jeez, she even put that stupid plastic tree into the living room! The presents Archie sent her lie beneath her makeshift Christmas tree. Everything is as usual. It's the same, but different.

She misses him. She would never admit that, though. She's 19 now. She's old enough not to care about such feelings. She is trained to ignore every little feeling she has. She doesn't need someone to spend Christmas with her. She has learned how to have fun on her own.

Still, it doesn't feel right. It feels like something's missing.

Someone is missing.

"Stop being a baby", she tells herself harshly. She swallows some upcoming tears concentrating on her first Christmas as a grown up.

She has sent a Christmas present to Archie. It's money. Archie knows it's hard for her to share money. Money is one of her only friends.

Parker works alone so she doesn't meet anyone during a job. For the most part she doesn't even get to know her client. Sometimes they're writing e-mails only. It's harder to track than a phone, plus they don't have to talk to her. The thief knows it's better that way. It's less dangerous. Sometimes she gets suspicious when she has to meet her client. Once she rejected one job, because the client wanted to meet her.

If she doesn't know about them they won't kill her even though she could be dangerous.

She still does jobs on her own, though. She refuses to buy anything. She breaks into the mall at night and grabs everything she needs on weekly basis. She varies the malls, though. It would be too easy if she'd just steal from one. It wouldn't be fair, either. If she steals from every mall within 30 miles all of them make the same loss.

Parker has always opened her presents before Christmas morning, so she doesn't bother to do otherwise now. She ripps off the paper of each package. Some new rigs. A little safe she cracks in 2 minutes. Cash.

It's nothing more and nothing less than she expected. She really likes Christmas. It's her favourite celebration of the year, actually. She prefers Christmas to her brithday, which she doesn't really like anymore.

This eighteenth birthday when he gave her a new bagpack and some money. He opened the garage - the light almost dazzling her, she hadn't been out for three months then - and let her go.

"Go out and make me proud", he said.

She didn't want to go, but she didn't tell him. She didn't want to seem weak.

Last year she returned for Christmas. They had scheduled a date for the 24th. This year he doesn't have the time to meet her.

She moved to L.A. and she really likes it here. Most people around are rich, talking very rich. She gets to steal great things from the guys next door. They'll never know it was her. Parker isn't quiet sure if they are aware of her existence anyways. People around L.A. don't know each other. She lives in the inner city. Everybody knows his friends, that it. You needn't know the neighbour, who borrows you some sugar when you're in need of it.

Unfortunately, even her ignorant neighbours have it better than her. Some of them have families. Parker doesn't steal from them. And those, who don't have kids or at least spouses, spend the holiday with their family in Houston or somewhere. It's depressing.

Parker decides it's time to watch a movie. She puts on her coat, because it's cold outside. She doesn't want to watch one of the movies she has already seen. Then in the blink of an eye she changes her mind and puts on a short dress and high heels instead. It's Christmas. There will be more desperate people out there, whom she can steal from!

Archie once told her she should start using her qualities. The thief thinks that today is the perfect day to start with that.

She puts the coat back on, because it's really cold and choses one hotel nearby to be the place of her first try. Before she leaves she waves goodbye to Bunny.

"I'll be back in an hour or something", she says and then closes the door behind her.

As she enters the hotel she gets stoped by a bellhop.

"Your coat, miss", he says.

"No, thank you."

"We insist", the bellboy insists. He looks like he is 11 years old - it's a shame he doesn't spend Christmas with his family. Parker suddenly feels sorry for him and gives him the coat.

"Thank you miss", he says.

If she had money she would give him some, but she doesn't.

"Concentration, Parker", she tells herself. She has to find a victim. A man. She grines. It's her kind of taking revenge. Stealing from guys like Jay stole from her. Of course, she can never steal something that would legitimize her loss.

She sits down next to one guy, who has a briefcase with him. If there's only paperwork in it she can still go to another hotel. She will have to leave after stealing either way.

"Hey", she says smiling.

"Hi", he replies. He also replies the smile.

_You'll soon be laughing on the other side of your face_, Parker thinks. She's angry, because this man has taken some woman's virginity. She's sure he has. Everybody has. At least, everybody his age has.

Deep inside she knows that this is not true. But she can't get her revenge if she has second thoughts.

"Buy me a drink?"

"You got it." The guy waves at the barkeeper. He looks kinda cute. The barkeeper, not the guy who pays for her drink. This guy has an babyface. He isn't her type by far. "So..."

When she realizes a sensation on her leg she panics. He's touching her! Right in front of other people! He's touching her without permission, but nobody seems to care. As if anyone would have ever cared.

Hastily, she grabs his fingers and bends them 180 degrees. He screams in pain as they break. She takes the briefcase and rams it into his stomach then she gets up and flees. The shoes kill her she almost drops.

Luckily, no one cares for him. No one cared for her when she needed help. So why would they care about him?

The thief is still shocked so she quickly returns home. Bunny still lays on the top of her bed. Parker joins her and pulls the plushie into a hug.

It takes one hour until Parker is calm enough to open the briefcase. She is relieved as she finds a wallet with money as well as a DVD and a book. There is some paper, too. Apparently, this guy just returned from a business trip. Too bad he has lost all his work to a woman he touched without permission.

Parker puts the DVD into the player. The movie is odd, but it's fun to watch. Parker makes comments and everything, because Bunny can't. She laughs a lot. It's fun.

Yes, this first Christmas she celebrates without Archie is different. But the thief realizes that different isn't just a synonym for bad.

**I hope you liked it. Just let me know, what you think. =)**

**Who's counting the years is probably already aware which chapter of the thief's life comes next...  
**


	11. life changes

**I do not own Leverage.**

11.

2008, May

Los Angeles

"Damn it", Parker curses.

She turns looking at Bunny, who seems to be giving her a disapproving look. Parker rolls her eyes. It isn't her fault. She knows that. She has done her thing. She has finished the job.

At least, she thought she did.

_You're not getting payed._ Parker hates those words. Awful words. Means she doesn't get money. She's not getting payed.

"Don't look at me like that", she tells Bunny, "It's not my fault. One of those guys... probably that hacker, they must have messed up."

Annoyed the thief undoes her ponytail. She isn't sure what happened, but it makes her angry. She needs that money. She doesn't need it for living, no, she needs it for herself. She desires that money.

She might need it for living, though. Those guys, whose names she has already forgotten, know what she looks like. They know she lives in L.A. or at least nearby, because no one pulls off jobs far away. You want to be there in case you're not getting payed. She might as well invite those guys for DVDs and popcorn. There's no big difference. They know she's here. So she'll have to move.

Parker herself won't track them. She doesn't care. She cares for herself and for Bunny, that's it. That's why she'll have to leave.  
It isn't that big of a loss, though. Her apartment is nice and comfortable, it's huge, but she doesn't have too much stuff. Most of the rooms are empty. She could move within two hours or something. She would leave most of the stuff there and steal new stuff in her new town. A warm-up, basically.

But she does care about the money and she does care about the money she didn't get. She dresses into some old blue shirt of hers, jeans, chucks, a sweater. Dubenich, her client, told her where she should go in order to get her money. Oh, and she needs that money, she does. She takes a gun with her, just to play it safe.

"I'll be back soon", she tells Bunny and leaves.

As she enters that hall she finds all three of those guys already waiting. Apparently, they haven't been payed, neither. Everything else wouldn't have been fair. She walks hesitatly pointing her gun at the other guy, who has one. What was his name again? Bob?

"My money is not at my account", she tells them while walking until she stands next to the tall guy, the hacker. "That makes me cry inside. At my special angry place."

She's still holding up that gun, not pointing anymore. The guy with the gun doesn't point at her anymore so why would she?

"Okay, Parker", the guy says. He graps her at her wrist forcing her to keep her hands next to her body.

She's shocked. He knows her name. How would he know her name? She doesn't know his name anymore. Her selective memory works great. They guy asks if anyone of them got payed, but they all reply no. None of them has been payed just like Parker didn't get her money.

Then suddenly the guy, who knows her name says: "And the only reason you are here is because you didn't get payed..." He breaks out in laughter. "And you're pissed off, right", he manages to ask between laughter. Then he finally says: "Matter of fact, the only way to get us all to the same place at the same time i-is to tell us that we're not getting payed."

They all remain for a short time. Thereafter they all realize what actually _is _the game. They exchange some looks and then they scatter in all directions to escape. It's only a matter of time. The thief can hear herself breathing hard when the bomb goes off. She flies through the air, but it's not the same feeling she had almost 16 years ago the day her family died. It's different.

She lands on the ground arms first. She is relieved to feel that they don't break. With a thump the tall hacker lands beside her.

"You're alright", he asks, when both of them finally manage getting up to their knees. She doesn't say a word. Why is he even interested in what she feels? She doesn't care about him so it isn't his job to care about her.

"She looks fine to me", the other man, the hitter, says as he runs over to them. He waves them. "C'mon we gotta get Nate."

"Who's Nate?"

Both hitter and hacker give the thief a disappointed look. "Seriously? You meant that when you said 'Already forgot your names'?"

The hitter just rolls his eyes. "We don't have the time for that, now come on!"

Hesitantly at first, then hasty she follows the men to find the third man laying at the ground. She doesn't know that the moment she met him will change her life so much yet. But she'll soon learn.

She returns much later than she told Bunny she would, but the plushie doesn't complain. The thief got plenty of money. Much more than she actually thought she would get. Thanks to the hacker, who's name is Hardison. They met a grifter, Sophie, and together they managed to get the money back Dubenich didn't give them. Plus they got revenge, because he almost killed them.

Parker is worried. She's in a team now. A little while ago, in the park it felt great, but now as she returns to the home she is used to as she sees Bunny and her bed and her rigs and everything... Right now she feels like she has made a horrible mistake. The team is everything Archie has warned her about, talking:

Don't pair up with other thieves. Don't pair up with grifters. Don't pair up with hitters. Don't pair up with hackers. Those aren't honest people. They're lying and cheating and everything in order to get money. They're thieves and thieves can't be trusted.

She isn't sure if Archie would have approved the one job. He wouldn't have been amused if she had told him, but he wouldn't have cared, either. He wouldn't have had to care, because it was only one job. But now, being a team, helping people. She wasn't quiet sure if he'd approve of this.

Panic overwhelmes her and she grabbes her phone willingly to call and tell Nate she has changed her mind. At this very moment her phone rings. The melody of "Ghostbusters" echoes across the room. She answers the phone.

"There's a job to do! Are you still intrested?"

_No_, she thinks, _No, this is dangerous. I'm not interested. Actually I should buy myself a new phone and move out of L.A. as soon as possible..._

"Sure", she says, "Where do we meet?"

**I'm sorry, I know it's not the best. I won't write/post another chapter until Monday, though, so I hope you can at least enjoy this one. Reviews would be great. :)**


	12. told you so before

**I do not own Leverage.**

12.

2009, July

Juneau, Alaska

Parker does still remember how she's messed up at her first job. She remembers how heartbroken she was. She also recalls that Archie didn't recognize her feelings. Parker was never good at showing feelings to other people. So, instead of providing the comfort she was longing for her mentor simply said: "I told you so." Thirteen year old Parker bit her lower lip hiding the tears and told him she was sorry. He had actually told her this was too big for her, but she wouldn't listen.

Now Parker is already 21 years old and still she's as stupid as eight years ago. If she had just listened to what Archie said her life wouldn't be this messed up.

The team parted. They tried to get IYS insurance down for Nate and it went completely wrong, because Sophie acted selfish and kept the two Davids for herself. Anyways, Parker spent one night at IYS' own prison until Sophie came and freed her. They returned. Hardison blew up the headquarters and then they parted.

Parker feels betrayed. She trusted those people. She made friends. Now they just let her down like this. Hardison promised to look for her, but he never showed up until today and Parker makes it quiet easy to track her.

Fuck, she even kept that ear bud! She can't believe he hasn't found her yet. He must know where she is. So she wonders why he doesn't come for her. He said he would, so why doesn't he?

Last night the thief caught herself almost calling him. She could stop herself at the very last minute.

No contact for six months. Period. No excuses. They need this break. They got too much attention already. Maybe that's why Hardison doesn't come for her though it would be more than possible for him to track her down.

She hasn't heard of Eliot or Nate. Sophie sent her an SMS from Europe saying she would have written a postcard if she had an address. At least, she still got Parker's phone number.

Parker lives in Juneau, Alaska, right now. She really likes this place and Alaska itself. It's pretty. While Sophie always says she prefers the sun Parker prefers the cloudy places. By the way Sophie's words don't make much sense to Parker since she's from England and says she loved it there. It always rains in England, everybody knows that.

Parker misses the team. She really does. She wouldn't admit it, but she misses every little bit of it. She can't get rid of the memories. They follow her like a dark shadow.

When she's at some museum she thinks about how Sophie would grift her way to the picture she wants. When she's walking by a computer store she thinks about Hardison and why he hasn't contacted her yet. When she sees a fight on TV or on the street, it doesn't really matter where, she thinks about Eliot. When she drinks beer she thinks of Nate.

It's hard. She really likes them or should she rather say _liked_them? It's hard to keep living without their usual rhythms. She misses those Fridays they spent at the bar. She misses watching old school movies with Eliot (complaining about the plot and everything) and Hardison (complaining about Eliot complaining). Hell, she even misses Sophie taking her for shopping sometimes and this only happened once. Plus, it will never happen again. Sophie was way too disappointed.

Parker glances over at the diamond she stole last weekend. The Hope Diamond. It's the first time she stole it, but she might do it again. It was a piece of cake. Actually, it wasn't really pleasing. She planned on getting herself some different thoughts and returned thinking about if Sophie would like to wear this diamond as a necklace. She would immediately give it to her.

Anyways, she'll put it back this weekend. Some people got fired after it disappeared. She didn't mean to. Maybe they'll be hired again if she gives it back. She's good now… well, kinda.

Bunny is sitting on the counter next to Rocket Os. Parker takes a look at the clock in the home she has stolen herself. She actually grifted her way into it acting like she was some old man's daughter, who gave it to her. Sophie would be proud.

Parker likes to make people proud. It makes her feel good. She likes it much better than "I told you so." But that's exactly the look Bunny seems to give her. Parker rolls her eyes.

_The team will only cause you pain. Stand by me. You don't need them. _

It's too late to regret the past. The team has already caused the thief pain. The worst part, though, is that if one of them would only call her she'll pack her stuff and return immediately. She doesn't feel as free as she did before. She has become a part of something, but now this something isn't anything anymore.

Parker walks over and grabs Bunny. "I know you've told me so, but I've gotta make some decisions on my own or I'll never grow up."

She kinda likes this thought, though. She'll be just like Peter Pan. Maybe she might even try flying.

**I personally don't like asking for it, but reviews would be really nice. Thank you. :)**


	13. strange new old life

**I do not own Leverage.**

13.

****2009, October

Back Home... or is it?

It's quiet strange to see them again. She's not surprised they haven't called anymore, yet they parted for over six months. The only reason they actually ran into each other today is Sophie and "The Sound of Music". It wasn't that nice, though. Sophie was right about her singing - it's not as good as her acting and her acting is... well, we'd rather not dicuss this right now.

They haven't changed. Not really. They're kinda honest, but Parker bets they've been just as honest as she was. She put the Hope Diamond back, though. It's not like she kept it. She just stole it to... steal something. Steal rhymes with feel and to Parker there's no difference between those words. Steal, Jump of a building, feel, cereal, bunny, money, love - it's all the same.

It's so strange to see them again, to be here again at all. Parker doesn't know wheter to be grateful or angry. She feels embarassed, because she couldn't say a proper word when she met them. It's strange to see them again.

She was and still is angry at them. She really is. She's hiding most her emotions even from herself, though, but it didn't help her not much this time. Hardison is the one she's most pissed off. He's broken his promise. That's why. He's promised to look for her. He hasn't. He could have tracked her - he's a hacker for god's sake! And she hasn't been very careful. She didn't had to be. The only thing she stole (except for the things she needs to live. She'll never get used to _buy _cereal.) was the Hope Diamond. So that's why she's angry.

Parker knows that Hardison knows she won't just forget it. She always tries to forget. When she was a child Candy made her sit in the corner and forget. She didn't forget. She tries, but the memories just won't go away. One day she's given up forgiving. Today she remembers everything that's important. She still forgets names quickly. Her selective memory works just fine. She's told them a couple of times. But Hardison knows that she'll never forget anything that hurt her.

The thief would never admit that, but she was hurt. And she'd never forget.

She's at home right now. It's her newest home. It's cute. She likes it. Much space less stuff. Nothing she misses. Bunny's sitting on the bed while she's sitting cross legged at the table trying to figure out what their talk was about.

They've been to the bank today. She was dressed as a nun, he was a priest. Stealing sometimes takes some heavy costumes. Good thing she doesn't believe in god anymore after what he let Jay do to her. She believes in Santa Clause, though.

"I did look for you. For six months", Hardison told her with this puppy face he sometimes makes. Not that it impresses her. Not much at least.

"Done", Parker replied as if she hadn't listened to him. His puppy face disappeared and was full of misunderstanding. She would have laughed if she wouldn't have want them to stay friends. She's angry, but she's not mean. "The key. Done."

He stopped shaking the bible she had told him to shake. Good thing, she doesn't believe in god anymore.

She tried to tell him in a roundabout way how she felt: "I think people are like locks. Very complicated and frustrating, but you can't force them. You have to take time and be fiddly."

"Fiddly?" He gave a smile.

"You learn to be patient and just wait until you hear the..."

Click. It's click with locks. But what is it with people?

She can't quiet tell and this keeps her very frustrated. She blames herself, because she's thinking that much. Usually she would just think about the thing she'd steal, then she would steal it, get the money, keep the money, be happy. Maybe steal some ice cream.

But it doesn't work anymore. It doesn't work since the first time she worked with them. The jobs with the orphans. He told her he liked how she turned out. Does that mean he likes her...

Parker shakes her head as if she could get rid off those thoughts then.

"Don't think such things, silly", she tells herself walking over to the shelf to grab some cereal for Bunny and herself, "Men will only hurt you. You know that. He's your friend, you're good. He's your friend. Nothing more, but nothing less."

When she was a child she would imagine her one family. She would think of herself as a mother. She'd be just like her own mother, when she'd grow up. She'd have two children with her hubby. Twins, one boy and one girl. The boy's name would be Cole.

The strange thing is since ever she met the others the faces of her perfect family mix. Her mother mixes with Sophie. It's hard to look at Sophie when she's loosing pieces of her mother's face. It was never easy to keep their faces in her mind, but it's even harder now. She's lost her father's face to Archie already now slashing up with Nate's. But her mother... She loved her mother. So the only thing she can do to keep her is naming her twin girl, which's actually Parker herself her Mom's name.

Parker raises her eyes to the watch she's placed between her cereal. 9:21. She's gotta go soon. She's meeting with Eliot. She's not meeting with Hardison not soon. Eliot teachs her how to fight, because she's never really learned that. Since they parted she felt insecure without him. She's afraid she'll feel this again, when they part again...

She doesn't like to think about it. She's already lost her parents and brother. Loosing her new parents and brothers again... it doesn't feel right. But Sophie isn't happy. And if Nate doesn't tell her she'll leave. She said so. She told her right before their first job back together started and now it's already two weeks after that.

She needs to learn how to protect herself and Eliot can teach her as long as they're a team.

What will happen after that... it's none of her business. She doesn't have a say in this, not really. It's what Nate says. But they've put some pretty cool stuff in his apartment, so...

She sighs. They'll see. Right now she's going to train for the worst case.

Maybe she might even fight Hardison. He didn't seem to get how angry she really was, so this might be an option.

The thief leaves her newest home with a smile on her pretty face. Let's just hope nothing will upset this face soon...

**So... Reviews? I'd be happy. =)**


	14. a box of past

**My sincer thanks goes to my beta reader CLVayaella7 ****for editing and correcting my story.**

**I'm sorry I haven't updated in years... and today: finally. Just because Leverage returned last night.  
**

**I do not own Leverage.  
**

2010

February

Destiny has never been a good friend of Parkers.

Parker hates shrinks. She has spend whole months of her life with those headshrinks 'trying to help her'. They didn't help her not a bit. Always talking about the moments she wanted to forget asking her questions that made her remember. She didn't like talking to them.

They always acted like they knew what was the best for her. Everybody did.

Her fosters knew what was best for her. Her shrinks knew what was best for her. Her teachers knew what was best for her. Her doctors knew what was best for her... Damn, even Archie knew what was best for her. But did any of them actually ask her once what she thought about it?

No. Nobody ever asked her.

She didn't want to this job from the very beginning. A psychic? Nah, they freak her out. But she decided to shut her mouth, because she doesn't want them to think she'll leave like Sophie did. She isn't that weak. And she still has the hope to get Nate away from the bottle.

Maybe, if she'll put more effort on it, she could force him to stop drinking and then Sophie could return.

The foster moms never returned if they lived. Parker still remembers.

She wanted to say something when Nate said they would visit him, though. She was nervous. She felt something would happen. And it did. Still does.

"Brother."

Parker lost her tongue at that very moment. How could he know about him? She never told anyone about him! How was it possible this man knew about her brother... her beloved twin brother, who she'd lost too soon, too young.

"You were both very young."

The thief would like to yell at him, tell him to shut the fuck up. But she can't. She remains silent; tongue sticking to her palate. She would like to say something, but her mouth just won't work.

"It was an accident."

How in hell could he know that?!

"I see a road. I see... a car. You're brother is not in the car. He's in the street."

It's getting creepier. Parker crosses her arms in front of her chest even more trying to comfort herself. She doesn't want everyone to see how she breaks down. No, she can't have that. He's using her brother, but she can't, she mustn't...

"Wheels. Skateboard", he says. He couldn't know everything. It's impossible. Psychics are scary, but not that scary, still... "No, a bicycle", he continues causing Parker to open her mouth in surprise. "Was he riding a bicycle when he was strugged?"

That's impossible! She never told anyone of this. NEVER. Not even Archie. Nobody knows about Nick. So If this is the truth, If nobody knows... then the shrink is real. Parker's breath goes heavily now. She needs so much air... It seems like every breath she takes leads nowhere. She can't get as much air as she actually needs.

Oh, she wants to get away so bad. The pictures...

Daddy.

Oh, how stupid could she be thinking she would ever forget about her horrible 4th birthday?

"He's sorry that he had to leave you", the psychic says, "He knows that you feel responsible. But he wants you to know it was an accident."

Too much. She can't take in anymore. The air is getting thinner. She can't breathe. Using Nick...

Of course, she's responsible. She was always responsible for what happened in her life. She could have stopped and helped Nick. She didn't have to agree with the bikes. She knew Nick had a hard time learning how to ride it with his new prostheses. She could have talked to them. They could have taken the car and nothing would have happened in the first place. Why shouldn't she feel responsible for this?

"You taught him to ride that bike, did you?"

Alright. She thought it already was too much, but this is how too much feels.

Nick... she could still see him in her mind's eye. "I don't know if that's a good idea", he had said. "No, just try. You'll like it. I promise. It's easier than walking", she had promised. He smiled. "I love you." "Love you, too. Now let's go ride that bike", she had ordered.

She was the younger twin. He was the first to come. He was the first to loose his leg. The first to go. She was the younger twin. Yet still she could have protected him in the first place. She knows that.

Parker storms out.

Who cares what the people think about her? Those people barely even know her! They don't know about Nick!

Well... they do. Kinda. But they don't know about the rest. They don't know what happened that day their parents took them to the cinema. They don't know how she hated herself for her family's death. They don't have a clue how long she thought what Jay did was her bill. They couldn't understand her anyways.

She returns to Nate's place. She doesn't know where else to go.

Home? No. She can't go home now. There's bunny. There's her photo. Her family photo. She kept it over the years. Parker never looked at the photo for the past years. She just kept it. She kept it in a box with the childhood stuff she was able to safe. She buried the stuff under a tree at the graveyard her family was burried after the funeral. Nobody noticed. Nobody cared. She came back when she knew it was safe and kept it in the garage Archie trained her. Since then she's carried it around.

All that little pieces of her childhood buried in a little metal box. It's detergent box. There's still some washing powder inside. Parker doesn't use this washing powder. She could take the same to wash her stuff, but she doesn't want to. She wants to safe the smell for a rainy day.

Next to the photo and the washing powder she has her old crayons and some pictures. Mommy's kerchief with a drop of her perfume on it, Daddy's glasses and his favourite book. Nick's button collection. Some of their toys, their glass marbles... it's all in there.

No. She can't go home to that box of past.

Parker cries all the way home. Her eyes go all red and swollen, she knows that, but she doesn't care.

Nick.

Damn. It hurts too bad.

She wants to die. She's planned on dieing more than once, but she never actually had taken it into account. After her parents died she wanted to die, too. But she didn't know about suicide, she didn't know about death, she was four. After the rape started she wanted to die, but she couldn't. She was still suffering of her nemesis.

Today she wants to die. This shrink exposed her biggest and darkest part of the past. He used her brother for his damn show. He told everyone about something she would have rather kept a secret.

The team knows. Tara knows. They'll treat her differently. Maybe they'll start asking question what exactly happened to her brother. How old he was. How old she was.

She knows she can't take that. But she waits. Maybe they might react differently. Sometimes people do react differently, actually.

When they return she tells them. They mustn't do this job the psychic is scary.

"There's no way he could have known that stuff. I've never told anyone. No one. Ever."

It's the truth. She knows that.

They try to talk her out of that, though. Say her answers guided him, but yet she didn't say anything. She learns it's all about facial expressions. He read her. She doesn't know if it's better than him being a psychic or worse. Is she that simple to read?

He does research, they say. But there's nothing about Parker on the world wide web.

So he read her. Creepy.

"So what do we do know?"

Parker has got the perfect answer to this question:  
"Cut off his arms... and his head..." She nods at herself acceptingly. "Yeah, I wanna kill him. Can we make that happen?"

**So... R&R would be nice. =)**


End file.
